Say That Five Times Fast

Well, folks, wrap your tongues around this: XavlegbmaofffassssitimiwoamndutroabcwapwaeiippohfffX. Nope, that’s not a cat walking on a keyboard. It’s a South African band with a name so long, it makes War and Peace look like a pamphlet. But let’s stick with “Xavleg” for sanity’s sake.

They’re also known as Acidic Vaginal Liquid Explosion Generated By Mass Amounts Of Filthy Fecal Fisting And Sadistic Septic Syphilic Sodomy Inside The Infected Maggot Infested Womb Of A Molested Nun Dying Under The Roof Of A Burning Church While A Priest Watches And Ejaculates In Immense Perverse Pleasure Over His First Fresh Fetus.

Genre? Take your pick! They’re into experimental and brutal death metal, deathcore and grindcore. It’s like a buffet of all things heavy and extreme.

From Durban to Meme-dom

The band was born in 2016 in Durban, a coming-of-age ritual for members already jamming in another band, Vulvodynia. Their goal? To find the “most ridiculous and brutal name” for a comical death metal venture. Mission accomplished, lads!

Now, what’s in a name, you ask? When it comes to their albums, brevity is the soul of wit. Unlike their jaw-breaking moniker, their album titles are short and sweet. They kicked off with an EP in 2016 and then churned out their first major album in 2018.

Xavleg’s song topics? Ah, they run the gamut. From odes to bongs and weed to ant military marches, inspired by none other than General Mandible from the animated film Antz. And let’s not forget the homage to Harambe, the gorilla who met his end at the Cincinnati Zoo.

This band isn’t just notorious for its name; they’ve become an Internet meme. Ever heard of the “Completely Unreadable Band Logo of the Week” by MetalSucks? Yeah, they made that list. And despite their outrageous branding, they’re actually against misogyny. They even recommend listening to “saner voices” on feminism. Just don’t ask them to spell out their name for you.

More Side Gigs Than a Jack-of-All-Trades

Let’s meet the mad scientists behind this cacophonous experiment, shall we? You might wanna grab a notepad; these guys have more side gigs than a Swiss Army knife has functions.

On bass, we’ve got Lukas Kaminski. This guy’s also jammed with Placenta Powerfist, Power Concept, and a list of bands that reads like a metal bingo card. Seriously, the dude’s been in more projects than a high school science fair.

Keeping the beat on drums is Martin Grupe. You’ll also find him banging away in Diaroe and Stillbirth. Ex-memberships include Lethal Dawn and Wounded Entrails. He’s even dabbled in a group called The John Doe Massacre. Kinda makes you wonder what his Spotify playlist looks like, huh?

Guitar duties fall to Lwandile Prusent. This guy’s hands have touched strings in Cryoplegia, Vulvodynia, Crayon, Glamaticus, and Technopath. If his guitar had a passport, it would be full of stamps.

Lukas Swiaczny brings the vocals. The man’s voice box has been lent to Placenta Powerfist and Stillbirth. He’s even done a live gig with Ingested. We’re talkin’ vocal cords of steel here, people.

Last but not least, we have Captain Cock Corrosion on guitars. Oh yes, that’s the name. His other exploits include Vulvodynia and a smattering of bands with names like Vomit Cake and Contrast the Water. Hey, don’t shoot the messenger.

So what have these misfits produced? Their discography starts with “Gore”, an EP released in 2016. Followed by a full-length album named—wait for it—“Gore 2.0” in 2018. They also tossed out a single called “Invoke the Smoke” the same year.

Yeah, these guys are the human embodiment of a death metal Rubik’s Cube. Just when you think you’ve figured ’em out, they turn and show you another twist.